Attack of the Birds (Pigeons not women)

Posted: August 13, 2011 in About Me

Sunday was like any normal Sunday to me other than the fact that it was my 30th birthday and the family were making their epic trip over to Liverpool. Their arrival time schedueled for 11am, so there I was up at 7am making sure the place was tidy, the duster had licked the surfaces and the vac, much to the annoyance of the neighbours, had tickled the carpet in my bedroom and the rug in the lounge. Everything was ready. And like clockwork they arrived.

Mum, Dad, my sister, her husband, the kids, my sister in-law and the head of the family my Gran, the 84year old gin swigger! The day was set and the sight seeing could begin.

It was all going well, with regular checks on gran making sure she was ok walking on the cobbles, not walking too quick, safe on the esculator, not scared by the orange looking, roller wearing women abundant in the city centre. She was fine. We all were.

We hit the docks, saw the pirates and heard the gunfire (scheduled for the event. for once) and all was enjoyed. Then walked along the river front to the new museum where the first attack upon myself happened. It was here, while minding my own business, walking with my nephews that I was dive bombed by a flock (is that what they are called) of seagulls. many just swooping in close and squarking as they passed by. Except for the last one, that got that close it beat me, not once, but twice in the face with it’s wing before flying off with the others.

Yes……. it did hurt!!!

The first attack and the point where we then headed towards the resturant for lunch. Just brefore walking through the door there were screams of laughter as yet another seagull took it’s aim at me and ended up doing it’s ‘business’ down the front of my jeans!!!

That was it for the day. The rest seemed to pass without further attacks and by late eveing the early events had been forgotten. That was until. TODAY!!

Quietly walking home from Tesco with shopping in one hand and iphone in the other (this had been dropped mid conversation on the esculator in the Met Quarter, firstly hitting the hand rail and then landing face down on the edge of the metal step) I was walking home minding my own business deep in conversation with Jojo when the third attacke happened. It was on Vernon Street when this flying rat decided to disembark the contents of it’s bowels and all over my chicken and bacon (with mayo) sandwich and my Tesco bag.

So there was only one thing left to do…..

Buy a Euro Millions ticket for tonights draw!!


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