You, me and your…

Posted: June 18, 2012 in life
Tags: , , , , , , ,

As a man who in my world at the mere age of 30 is classed as aged, my social life largely revolves around lying on the sofa watching Location, Location, Location, so I am more in the market for loungewear (the comfortable stuff you wear when you have no intention of leaving the house) than most. So I don’t mean to be abstruse when I say that when I saw the latest development in that area of menswear, my immediate thought was of my old college roommate’s testicles. I saw them only once, one fateful morning in 1992. He was breakfasting seated on the sofa, clad in a dressing gown that was open to reveal his night attire of T-shirt and boxer shorts. As we talked, I noticed that his testicles had slipped their moorings. It’s a lot harder than you might think to alert someone to the fact that their testicles are visible without causing offence or embarrassment. I couldn’t think of anything. So we just sat there – me, him and his scrotum – until I fled the room.

I felt his baggy boxer shorts were to blame, which brings us to the latest development in menswear: the large boxer short, which at least one menswear website is boosting as suitable attire for the sofa-bound. I can see the comfort factor. I can see the bold statement of intent: “I’m going nowhere, and to prove it I shall wear a large pair of boxer shorts.” But I can also see my testicles slipping their moorings on a regular basis, inflicting unnecessary trauma on my family. So, for that reason, and in every sense of the phrase: I’m out.


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